Hey all, sorry I’ve been quiet for the a little while. I’ve been busy with stuff that I can’t remember now. All I know at this point is that today is my last day of teaching until next school year, and I’m about to have three months off to do WHATEVER I WANT, so please excuse me if I’m a little bit all-over-the-place today. I’m just really excited, and also really tired. Let’s talk about the Reds!

Holy crap, how good are the Reds right now? Aside from that terrifying derailment last Sunday, our boys have been killing it! But seriously, can the Angry Birds please start losing? It doesn’t really do anything for us if we keep winning and the Cards also keep winning.

Today the Reds start a five-game homestand and face the Cubs at 7:10. I’ve heard that there are a couple of sellouts this weekend, so I hope you all are trying to make it out to the ballpark. I THINK I might possibly be there Sunday, but it’s all up in the air. Typically, Memorial Day weekend is my favorite weekend of the year due to being outside in the pool, drinking cocktails, and listening to baseball, but I don’t even know what I’m doing this year. I just know that the Reds will be involved.

Oh hey! After we play the Cubs, the Reds will face the Indians in a four game series, except half of the series will be at GABP and the other half will be in Indianville (I forget what their stadium is called and don’t feel like looking it up). I think it’s technically probably supposed to be considered two series, but I think that it’s really awesome that they’re splitting it up like that. It’ll be the only time this year we play the Indians, so as far as the Ohio Cup goes, this is for all the marbles.

This isn’t the Ohio Cup I’m talking about, but I really want this one. My birthday is coming up, guys.

Oh! We got word yesterday that our dear friends Porky Miller and Lion Hanigan have started a blog! Thank goodness, because these girls are totally killing the game, and you should go check them out. They’re doing Photoshop stuff, animal puns, and other cool things. CLICK ON THIS RIGHT NOW.

What else? Make sure you check out Taste of Cincinnati this weekend! I love Taste because I love food and beer and being outdoors in large crowds. I really want to go, but as I said, I have no idea what’s going on in my weekend because things are crazy, but I’m really going to make an effort to be down there. I’ll tweet if I end up there, and if you want to come say hi, give me a shout! ANYWAY, if you’re downtown this weekend, hopefully for both Taste and Reds games, don’t forget to take pictures and send them to us because we always love to see what everybody is up to.

Ok gang, I’m going to wrap this up, but don’t forget to watch the Reds play the Cubs this weekend. Here is a lesson in MLB team logos.

Kinda cute:

 Hauntingly terrifying:

Ew, go away creepy cub. BYE GUYS!

GO REDS NO CUBS!

It’s been a while since Rockin’ Redlegs has talked smack about an opponent of the Reds. We used to do it all the time when we were first born, and I kind of miss it. Aside from the fact that it’s rude, doesn’t demonstrate good sportsmanship, and will inevitably be negatively received by people on the internet, I have a lot of fun when I pick on other teams, so here goes: Meet the Miami Marlins! (Most of this is not true.)

Giancarlo Stanton, RF
Bats: Right     Throws: Right

Giancarlo Stanton is a 23 year old outfielder who made his big league debut in 2010. Currently on the 15-day DL with a case of identity crisis, Stanton was known as “Mike” until the 2012 season when he decided that he’d rather go by Giancarlo because it made him sound more exotic and mysterious. Speaking of exotic and mysterious, Stanton’s hobbies include tending to small macaques and breakdancing. He is also writing a memoir titled Macaques and Me: A Love Like No Other.

Miguel Olivo, C
Bats: Right     Throws: Right

Born in the Dominican Republic in 1978 to Sevillano and Kalamata Olivo, Miguel is the first Olivo-born player in the Major Leagues, and ended up in Miami after the Reds decided that they’d rather have one of Stanton’s macaques as a catcher than this guy. When not playing baseball, you can find Olivo hanging out at the grocery store, typically near the Mediterranean Bar, but sometimes in the baking aisle with the other cooking oils.

Greg Dobbs, 1B
Bats: Left     Throws: Right

Greg Dobbs signed with the Marlins in 2011, and immediately became the most-hated guy on the team. He constantly makes rude and offensive remarks (often sexual in nature) about the other players’ moms, and his .135 BA for May doesn’t help his case. In the night, other Marlins players meet in the dugout to plot to get rid of Dobbs, but their efforts are usually thwarted because Dobbs is found lurking near the dugout babbling about The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Placido Polanco, 3B
Bats: Right     Throws: Right

Placido Polanco is not only the oldest player in the Marlins organization – he is also the baldest. During the offseason, Polanco likes to spend his time driving slowly, feeding ducks at the pond, and playing bingo. He is the second-highest paid player on the team, and he spends most of his salary on reading glasses and accessories for his Hoveround. Albert Pujols is godfather to Polanco’s son, Ishmael, and that is not made up.

Derek Dietrich, 2B
Bats: Left     Throws: Right

This creepy-looking rookie was called up to the Majors this season, and is receiving a lot of attention for…um….wait, who is this guy? According to his Wikipedia page, he was called up last week and has been starting since Donovan Solano and Chris Valaika sustained injuries during a pillow fight. We can only assume that Dietrich still lives with his mom, and until last week, spent most of his days playing MLB 10: The Show on his Playstation while maintaining a steady diet of Cheetos and Dr. Pepper.

Adeiny Hechavarria, SS
Bats: Right     Throws: Right

Adeiny Hechavarria is 24 years old and defected from Cuba in 2009. (Real original, Adeiny.) He came over to the Marlins in the trade for Jose Reyes and others, and presumably has never kissed a girl (or a dude, I don’t know his life). He is listed on the roster as 5’11”, but everyone knows that in baseball, 5’11” is code for 4’9″. His interests include making dolls out of sticks and brewing bathtub gin. He has been quoted saying that his hero is Walter White.

Justin Ruggiano, CF
Bats: Right     Throws: Right

Justin Ruggiano is one of the players with the highest seniority for the Miami Marlins – he has played for the team since 2012 – wow! What a career! Prior to playing in Miami, he played for the Astros, the Rays, and the Dodgers. He has been spotted multiple times wearing his jersey to the local mall and asking people if they would like an autograph for the low, low price of $15. While most civilians approached by Ruggiano flee in terror, he makes a pretty decent second income with these autograph signings. He stated on his 2012 taxes that he made $105 from his side business.

Juan Pierre, LF
Bats: Left     Throws: Left

Juan Pierre, known to his friends as Juan D’Vaughn, is in his first year with the Miami Marlins (isn’t everybody?) and has made quite a name for himself with his 603 career stolen bases. Bases aren’t the only thing he’s been known to steal, however, and has been caught by his teammates stealing bizarre trinkets from their lockers. He’s not all bad though – in his free time, he dresses up as a clown and hangs out at a local park. He is sometimes spotted trying to offer candy to children – how sweet!

Ricky Nolasco, P
Bats: Right     Throws: Right

Ricky Nolasco is in his last year of his contract with the Marlins. He has played for the team since 2006, and has seen quite a few players come and go. He is known as the team prankster (just look at him!) and has come up with quite a few hilarious zingers for his fellow teammates. He is most notorious for putting laxative in the Gatorade cooler and covering the toilets in the clubhouse with saran wrap. Some of his other favorite practical jokes include sending love letters to his teammates’ wives, hiding everyone’s jockstraps in the backseat of his car, and the old hand-in-a-bowl-of-warm-water trick. LOL!

Thanks for letting me indulge in my weirdness for today. Tonight, the Reds will be facing the Marlins in Florida starting at 7:10. Here’s hoping Homer Bailey can put out a hell of an outing! Have a great day!

GO REDS!

This weekend was a great one for baseball. The Reds swept the Brewers, we moved into second place in the Central, and we’re only two games behind the Cardinals. It was the #RedsTweetUp, Aroldis Chapman Bobblehead Day, and Mother’s Day all in one weekend. The Reds scored 22 runs against the Brewers this weekend, while only allowing half that. I’d say it was a pretty good few days for the Redlegs.

Friday night was the #RedsTweetUp (I can’t type it without a hashtag in front of it), and it was one of the best ones yet, in my opinion. We got to meet and chat with (almost) all of our favorite Reds bloggers and tweeters, and managed to get a little starstruck in a couple of instances. It was hard to pay attention to the game because we were having such a great time talking to everyone, and I even managed to overcome my social awkwardness/anxiety (thanks to my four pre-game Mt. Carmel IPAs)! The shirts were awesome, the people were great, and the Reds won. What more could you want out of an evening? (Side note about the shirts: This might seem like a really weird thing to be excited about, but did anyone notice how well the shirts fit? They are really quality t-shirts.) I want to send the biggest THANK YOU to Lisa Braun, who is both excellent at her job and quite a class act. I know I don’t speak for just myself when I say that if it weren’t for Lisa, not only would there have been a lot of people sitting around bored with nothing to do on Friday night, but the Reds’ social media community would not be as strong and influential as it is today. We owe a lot of our success in the Reds’ social media world to Ms. Braun, and I know that a lot of you would say the same. Also, she brought Angie a birthday crown to wear at the game. If that’s not the mark of a great lady, I don’t know what is.

There is a man coming out of Angie’s head. Hi Man! 

The next #RedsTweetUp is June 9th, so you better join us if you know what’s good for you!

How about that win last night?! Something like that was exactly what the Reds needed to get back on track. It seemed that, in the first game of this series, the Braves got into the Reds’ kitchen, but hopefully last night’s game gave the Reds a boost of confidence to finish this series (and homestand) strong. I can’t remember the last time I saw back-to-back homers in the bottom of the ninth for a come-from-behind win. I’m telling you, this team is magical and it’s going to be something big – we just need all the pieces to fall together at the right time, and we’ll be absolutely unstoppable. The Reds are still tied for second place with Pittsburgh, which is something I DO NOT LIKE, but I think that we can get pretty close during the rest of this homestand. Angie and I are attending games on both Friday (WHAT’S UP #REDSTWEETUP) and Saturday, so there are two wins right there! I’m not sure how easy it will be to pass up the Pirates – they’re facing Felix Hernandez and the third-place Mariners today and they’re starting a series against the near-basement Mets tomorrow. I can’t really predict how that will work out, but it just might end up in our favor! The Cards are going to be more difficult to try to catch this week – they’re playing the LOLCubs for the next two games, which could easily put them a few games ahead, but then they’re up against the first-place Rockies, so I guess we’ll just have to see! Here’s the thing, it’s not like we’re in a tight pennant race just yet, so it’s all going to work out. That’s not even what I really wanted to talk about though.

What I really want to talk about is Dusty Baker’s 1600th managerial win! YAY DUSTY! I know that not everybody is a Dusty fan, but I am and I’m really happy and proud of him. Sixteen-hundred wins. That is a lot of wins, and 1600 of anything good is awesome (1600 killer bees, not so awesome). So, here is a list of things that I would want to have 1600 of.

1. Bagel Bites

OMG YUM

2. Puppies

OMG HI BB

3. Dollars

4. Beers

Though not all at once.

5. Dresses

One week from today (May 10th) is the first #RedsTweetUp of the season! ARE YOU SO EXCITED? I know that Angie and I are, because it is quite possibly the only setting in either of our lives where we will ever be considered “celebrity bloggers”. We try to never miss a TweetUp because it is always a fantastic time. It’s a great way to put faces to Twitter handles and finally meet people we’ve only interacted with via “@”.

This particular TweetUp will be EXTRA awesome because it is #JoeyVotto-themed. When the #FaceofMLB contest was happening, we Reds fans totally rocked it. I am so proud of us, so I see this TweetUp as a way of honoring our hard work, dedication, and ability to find the pound sign on a keyboard.

Joey Votto is proud of us too.

For those of you who may be TweetUp first-timers, or just need a refresher in the details of how it works, for $30, you get a field box ticket to see the Reds face the Brewers and a #RedsTweetUp tshirt. I think that pretty soon, I will have a #RedsTweetUp tshirt for every day of the week. Here is the tshirt:

If you want more details of how to purchase the tickets, you can go to reds.com/tweetup! If you go to that website, you will get to see a very beautiful photograph of Mikey and I at one of last year’s TweetUps. #JoeyVotto might be the #FaceofMLB but #MikeyandI are the #FaceofRedsTweetUps. Feel free to use any or all of those hashtags in your daily life.

The wheels are falling off of this post pretty quickly, so I’m going to get out of here, but COME TO THE TWEETUP! I WILL BE THERE. Also, I’m pretty socially awkward so if I recognize you, I’ll probably stand around glancing towards you for a while until you come talk to me. So, come talk to me! Or I might just try to get a little drunk beforehand so I’m not as afraid to go up and talk to you. And now I’m experiencing anxiety at the thought of how I’m going to interact with you guys in the least awkward way possible. Don’t worry about it though – I’ll get myself on lock and come ready to have a SPECTACULAR TIME! Oh, and one more reminder – when you buy your tickets, make sure you tweet @LisaBraun to let her know so she can add you to the list!

Ok bye.

Every season, it seems as if the Reds have a little quirky promotion or contest or cheer (I’m looking at you, “Woooo!”) that kind of defines the year; something that sends the social media world into a tizzy. So far this year, it’s the pizza.

The pizza promotion is (for those of you living under a rock) LaRosa’s deal with the Reds to provide a free small pizza (a $6.79 value) to every fan present at Great American Ballpark when the Reds pitchers strike out 11 batters or more per game. This year, the Reds pitchers are the Oprah Winfrey of pizza; “YOU GET A PIZZA! YOU GET A PIZZA! YOU GET A PIZZA AND EVERYBODY GETS A PIZZA!” 

Now, here’s the thing – the Reds pitchers are ON FIRE this year. Our team has the most strikeouts in the National League at 195, and is one strikeout behind the Red Sox for most strikeouts in all of Major League Baseball. The Reds have had six free pizza games so far this year, and LaRosa’s has given away over $100,000 in small pizzas. This promotion is awesome, and delicious, and I love seeing people get up in arms about the fans’ enthusiasm for pizza. I, myself, had one of my free pizzas for dinner last night, have brought another free pizza to work for lunch today, and have one more free pizza waiting in the wings. This raises many questions.

Could $100,000 worth of free pizza be sent to a Third World country or local homeless shelters? (Seriously, just for one or two games a season – instead of giving away the pizzas to fans, could they donate 40,000 small pizzas to shelters around the area?) If the Reds continue gathering this many strikeouts throughout the season, will LaRosa’s be able to keep up with the demand? Will the Cincinnati Reds bankrupt LaRosa’s? Am I going to never want to see another LaRosa’s pizza again by the end of the season? I think my biggest question is, as someone who has worked in all facets of the restaurant biz, are the people who answer the phones and the servers in the dining rooms ready to lose their marbles? (Can you just imagine having to hear, “I’ll take 7 small pizzas and I have my Reds tickets so that makes them free, right?” 30+ times a day? I would have to be institutionalized. If you are a LaRosa’s employee, please let me know your personal feelings about this.)

I love this promotion, and I can’t wait to see how many more 11+ strikeout games the Reds can play. SO MUCH FREE PIZZA.

“I love you, pizza.” – Tina
“I love you too, Tina.” – Pizza

I ate this:

It is a hot dog topped with bacon, fried onions, cheese, and BBQ sauce, accompanied by a side of buffalo chicken macaroni and cheese that is available at the Food Network stand near the Fan Zone. Shortly after consuming it, I died. That is all.

Hey guys! Happy Monday and welcome back from an exciting weekend! I hope you all had a lovely one – I know I did! Quite a bit of stuff happened in the baseball and non-baseball worlds this week. Let’s start with Boston.

As you all know, 3 people were killed and over 170 were injured in last week’s Boston Marathon bombing. It was terrifying for many reasons, one of which being that such a deplorable act took place in a venue of sportsmanship and athleticism. Since then, the country has united to show their support for those in Boston, and I know I’m going to tear up writing about it, but one of the factors that contributed to such unity is baseball.

The comparison has been made countless times, and I believe it is one of the truest sentiments out there – the reason people love baseball so much is because it imitates life. There is always tomorrow, everybody gets their chance, and possibly most importantly, if the going gets tough, you’ll always be able to find a support system. The rivalry between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees is one of the biggest in baseball, yet after the bombing, the Yankees organization, fans, and players showed their support for the people of Boston. This cartoon by Bill Bramhall is going viral:

Furthermore, the Yankees honored Boston on Tuesday night by bringing a long-standing Fenway Park tradition to Yankee Stadium – they played Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” during the third inning. It wasn’t just the Yanks though – the song that is synonymous with baseball in Boston resounded through ballparks all over the country. Even here at home, the #RedsDJ played the Boston anthem during the Reds-Phillies game on Tuesday.

All of this is proof that this game we love is bigger than us. Rivalries are fun, entertaining, and one of the reasons to show up to the ballpark, but when the tough times come, the players and the fans are able to put the silly stuff aside and unite to show their support for one another. Baseball is like one big crazy family – sure, you might be embarrassed of your drunk uncle or afraid of that creepy great aunt who always calls you by your sister’s name, but when it comes down to it, it’s all about love and support.

Baseball is the game that shows the spirit of America. Whether it be during the singing of the National Anthem at the beginning of every game, Sam the Bald Eagle flying around at Great American Ballpark, or the resounding chants of “USA, USA” at every ballpark in America on Friday, after videoboards all around the country revealed that the suspect had been captured, our favorite sport is a beautiful representation of the freedom and opportunity in the United States. Now that the culprit has been identified and is in the hands of the authorities, the city of Boston can begin to heal. Whether you see baseball as a distraction from the harsh realities of the world, a community of good people who rally when the times are hard, a fun few hours of entertainment during summer nights, or a little of all three, I’m sure you can agree that, like the aforementioned crazy family, baseball will always be here through the good times and bad.

Before I end my thoughts about Boston, and continue to wax way more poetic than is appropriate at 8 am on a Monday morning, I just want to mention one last thing about all this business – former Red, current Red Sox player (Sock? Is that right for the singular of “Sox”?), and all-around class act Jonny Gomes paid tribute yesterday to those who lost their lives by using a bat that was engraved with the message “Boston Strong” and the names of the victims of the bombing. You can read about it on USA Today by clicking here.

And now for something completely different! TODAY IS OUR SECOND BIRTHDAY! Two years ago, I decided to start a Reds blog, and it’s turned into this bizarre creature you see before you today. Since our inception, we have remained the #1-ranked Reds fan blog according to mlblogs.com, which is just absolutely baffling to me. I cannot thank you guys enough for continuing to read whatever ridiculous, sometimes hilarious, and almost always idiotic musings I come up with on a regular basis. As I’ve mentioned before, I am just shocked that people who aren’t my mom read my blog, so from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. If I could make a cupcake for each and every one of you, I would, but I don’t have the time or resources to make that many cupcakes. Now, if YOU want to send US cupcakes to thank us for being a weird, high-pitched, nasally voice of Cincinnati Reds baseball, email me and I will give you a shipping address. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate Rockin’ Redlegs’ birthday than with a trip to the ballpark, so that’s what I’ll be doing tonight. COME SAY HI. Speaking of birthdays, I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention that it is my brother Mikey’s 19th birthday today. Happy Birthday, Bro Nuxhall.

Finally, since last Monday, the Reds have won 6 of their last 7 games and have scored a total of 38 runs. IN A WEEK. These guys are good.

Have a great day, send us cupcakes, and I’ll see you at the ballpark tonight! GO REDS.

Personally, I had a lovely weekend. I drank beer, I played golf, I ate Taco Bell, and I saw Jamie Ramsey out in public. In the world of the Reds, however, it was not all booze, bogeys, and burritos.

The Reds lost. Like a lot. They seemed to try their hardest, but somehow, it was not enough to keep the Pirates down. The Pirates are one of those teams where it’s easy to get overconfident because you’re not sure if anyone on their roster actually exists, but if you get too comfortable, they’ll ride it. The problem lied in our pitching, for the most part. I heard the Cowboy say yesterday, “Losing two games with back-to-back starts by Cueto and Latos is something that does not happen.” It wasn’t their fault. Johnny Cueto looks like he’s got some kind of tricep injury, and we’re still waiting to hear back from the doctor on that one. Mat Latos struck out six batters in 6 2/3 innings, yet the Reds still managed to lose 10-7 yesterday. The bullpen is taxed. It seems like that’s been a recurring theme so far this year, and, while not for lack of trying, we should be able to get a solid 7+ innings from our starters. Yesterday, Broxton and Chapman gave up a total of 5 runs.

The Reds are now on a five-game losing streak. Hopefully, a good, solid homestand will be enough to get us out of this little slump, but between the Phillies and the Marlins for the first two series, it might be easier said than done. What won’t help is the prospect of losing our #1 starter, but there is interesting news coming from the farm. Yesterday, Tony Cingrani pitched 2 innings of scoreless ball and then was promptly shut down. The speculation is that, if we need him to start on Thursday, he’ll have three full days of rest. Cingrani is absolutely killing the game in Louisville, and has yet to give up a run. Dusty mentioned last week that Cingrani was his first call in the event that they need a starter, and it is happening sooner than anyone would like it to.

Here’s what Tony Cingrani looks like in case you don’t know.

There was more terrible news in the clubhouse this weekend. After hitting two home runs on Friday night, Brandon Phillips was off on Saturday to attend the funeral of his grandfather. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Brandon and his family during this time, and if we know Brandon (which we do), we know that his grandfather watching over him this will inspire him to work even harder every day.

Do you know what today is? It’s Jackie Robinson Day! Yes, the day where we have no idea who’s who on the team because they’re all sporting #42. It is the 66th anniversary of Jackie Robinson’s first Major League game, effectively breaking the color barrier in Major League Baseball. In an effort to keep the memory of the man who did so much for minorities in baseball, the world (?) is hosting a worldwide Twitter “thank you” at 9:42 am ET. I think it’s a little bizarre since Jackie Robinson doesn’t even know what Twitter is because he is dead, but hey, anything to commemorate a great, right? You can participate by using the hashtag #Jackie42,

I think that’s it for me as far as all the weekend news goes, but let’s put it behind us and make sure we’re out at the ballpark this week to support our team! 

Oh, one last thing – tomorrow is Bark at the Park, and Baci has to go naked because we didn’t get to make him an outfit. OUR DOG IS GOING TO BE NUDE, THIS IS A DISASTER. Any advice on quick dog outfits you could give us would be excellent.

GO REDS!